The mornings my human mum takes me out on a walk I am the most excited dog in the world. The excitement is so overwhelming sometimes that my parents think I'm little bit bonkers. They might not be too far off. The sound of mum's alarm is my alarm too. As mum walks out her bedroom our conversation begins.Me: Yay, yay, mum's coming to get me! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I can't wait!
My tail is thumping against my crate.
Mum passes the lounge, passes me.
Me: Mum! I'm awake. Have you forgotten about me?
Mum turns the light on in the lounge, but doesn't say a word
Me: Finally, mum's going to let me out. It feels like forever since I saw mum and I really need to wee.
The crate door opens. I rush out, do a quick down-dog, wag the tail and open my mouth wide for a loud yawn.
Mum: Good morning Chewbacca
Me: Chewbacca? My name's Jessie.
Mum sits down in the lounge chair.
Mum: Jessie, come.
I rush up to mum.
Me: Hi mum! Did you miss me? I missed you. I'm so excited to see. Let me grab my ducky and show. Oh, no actually here's my tennis ball that's way more fun.
There's now a stuff duck and tennis ball in my mouth. My excitement is out of control.
Mum: Jess. Crate.
Me: Crate? Why do you want me in my crate? I've just been in there forever.
Mum: Jessie, crate.
Me: Come on mum, I've got my ball here and I'm going to run around. No crate for me.
Mum: Jessie, crate. Crate.
Me: I'm just going to keep wagging my tail and run around.
Mum: Do you want to go on a walk or not. Crate.
Me: Oh, mum's serious. I best get in the crate, but I don't want her to take my ball away. No, no, no. This is my ball.
Mum: Thank you
Mum comes towards me with a collar.
Me: Not that silly collar. Maybe if I turn my head slightly mum won't put it on me.
Mum: Come on Jessie you have to wear the collar.
I loose the collar battle. It's on.
Me: Come on mum let's go. I'm dressed. You've put this leash thing on me and I want to get out the door. There are things to hunt.
Mum: Jessie, sit.
Me: If it gets me out the door faster I'll sit, I'll lie down. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Do you want a paw? Here's my paw.
I give mum my paw.
Out the front door, out the gate and onto the footpath
Me: Let the hunt begin.
Mum: Jessie heel
Me: huh, what? Mum did you say something. I wasn't listening there was a leaf blowing over in the road.
Mum: Jessie heel.
Me: Nah. I'll keep walking
Mum stops walking.
Me: Whoah! What's just happened? We've stopped. Oh, oh, oh I need to sit by your side.
I bounce back to sit next to mum
This dance continues for the duration of the walk.
Up ahead there is a dog coming our way. Red alert!
Me: Don't you worry mum. I've got this. I'll protect you. I'll let that dog know that he can't touch my mum. Granted, it is a really little dog today. Oh well, with a big growl, bark and lunge I'll put him in his place.
Mum: Jessie watch me
Me: Too late mum I'm in the zone
We manage to pass the dog and owner
Mum: Sorry, she's a bit lungy and doesn't do well meeting other dogs on lead.
Me: Let me at them! (I sound like Scrappy-doo)
Mum: Was that necessary Jessie? Really? Not a happy mum.
Me: I'm glad I protected you mum. Let's keep going.
A few moments later the need to do number twos takes over.
Me: Uh, oh. I need to find my spot. Hurry up mum. It's just up ahead and I have to get there now.
Mum: Jessie, heel.
Me: No mum. Heeling is not an option right now. I need to get to that spot and only that spot and I don't want to be by your side. Here it is.
Mum: Good girl
Me: Do you really have to watch me do my stuff? I don't watch you do your stuff.
Mum: Stinky poos Jess.
Mum's kneeling down cleaning up my mess.
Mum: Jessie sit.
Me: No mum, I have to stay on guard just in case another dog shows up.
Mum stands up again.
Mum: Home time
Me: Ok. Sounds like a plan. My tummy's grumbling and I'm ready for breakfast. Let's head home.
Through the front gate, through the front door, to the lounge.
Mum: Jessie sit
Me: Yes mum.
Mum: There you go Jess. Good girl. Go drink some water.
Me: Thanks mum. That was a great walk. Now, where's breakfast?